Connecting with Nature

I haven't felt like sharing my life with my blog audience lately. It's been too personal. Too raw. A time to go within and retreat or at least journal rather than blog. I can be fairly open on these pages, I have shared more on a blog than I ever thought I would, and yet there are times when it just won't do. It's not the time or the place.

Talking of places, The Cottage has been The Place this month. I knew it would fun and a great place to Be but really....within just 3 weeks it has proved to be a complete gift! It has exceeded my high expectations already. Perhaps it's just the honeymoon period. Maybe I'll get bored. Maybe, but I doubt it. What I find when I arrive at this beautiful, simple, yet comfortable retreat is oh-so-valuable. It's like my stress-o-meter re-sets to zero. It's almost instant upon arrival. I couldn't have predicted that. It feels great!

We arrived late on Friday, after a busy week, in our respective ways. The drive is straight forward in this weather, so we begin to relax on the journey and the promise of what's at the end of the road assists with that relaxation.

We don't notice how clear the night sky is when we are driving and when we arrive, the temperature feels perfect for sitting out on the deck with a welcome beverage. The air is cool, there does not appear to be a feeling of bugs in the air, just beautiful lake air, so we sit. As soon as our eyes adjust to the darkness, the night sky hits us. The sky is FULL of stars! Oh my....we don't exactly live in The City but I haven't seen a sky like this since I was in South Africa! Or at least that is what springs to mind. I saw my first shooting star! Can you  believe that? At my age, never seen one until now? It's true...but now I have and it was incredible. Such pure and simple joy! Inspired by nature.

Nature continued to inspire me all weekend. I've always said it feels great to be out in nature and that it nourishes my soul....but at the same time, I'd forgotten that lately. I have not been in nature enough. I  have not been feeling inspired...could the two be related? Surely just a "co-incidence".

The next morning I was encouraged to try the new kayak on the lake. I am quite sure there are not many people out there, especially living in Canada, who need to be encouraged or asked twice to go kayaking on the lake. Well, in my defense I'm neither Canadian nor a water-lover, so it was a fairly significant Moment for me. Getting in was a bit tricky but with some patient assistance I managed to remain calm and Step in...and....relax! Well, almost....once out on the water, it was so still and peaceful, it was a lot easier than I imagined, to let my guard down, let go of my well conditioned fear! I even found I could pretty much operate the paddle and head in the direction I intended to! It wasn't perfect of course, it was my first time (yes, another first!) but I was rather impressed and rather pleased with myself I have to tell you.  So there I was out kayaking on the lake....taking in the nature surrounding me. I saw my first Bullfrog! We have been hearing these little chaps for weeks now. At first wondering what on earth the noise was...it is quite distinctive and Very Loud! Anyway....there he was just sitting on the edge of the shore and he let me take a good look at him without leaping at me and causing me to topple the kayak. Oh so grateful for that!

I returned to shore to feel smug and pleased with myself and to read a little to take some photographs of other people kayaking. I was busy aiming my camera when I heard something else, very distinctive....it was a Hummingbird! He swooped in front of me....hovered....so I could get a good look and say Hi...but unfortunately he didn't stick around long enough for me to get a good shot, he was gone as quick as he appeared, but what beauty! Truly....I feel like I am gushing about nature here....OK, Yes, I admit it, I AM gushing about nature! So many of us take it for granted. We live on a stunning planet, full of beauty and wonder and yet so much of our time is spent completely blinkered to this beauty...the beauty that can trigger Joy, if you stay still just long enough.

I can't wait to return for another dose of inspiration!

Checking In

Earlier today, I tried to remember the last time I posted a blog entry. I couldn't remember off the top of my head and didn't bother to check. I was just aware it had been a while. I thought about giving myself a hard time about that, but caught myself. It's been a mad few months here, one way or another and blogging has not been foremost on my mind. This evening however, I received notification of a comment left on my site...someone who didn't leave their name...pointed out it had been a while since my last post. It's probably somebody I know well...but then again it may not be. Whoever you are though...thank you. Timing was perfect, as it usually is. More so than you may realise! Thank you for pulling my attention back to the blog. I think it could be part of what I need right now. We'll see.

Stagnation

Apparently, stagnation can be a part of the process of change. Seems a bit contradictory to me but I also get it. Sometimes when change is occurring, the Universe intervenes by putting certain blocks in our path. We can try to manoeuvre around them and may be successful for a while, but in my experience, eventually, you'll come across a block that stops you in your tracks. It can take different forms. It can be an emotional block that we need to work through, or perhaps a physical block where our body gives us a few signs that we need to ease up a bit...perhaps we get consistently tired but fail to rest or slow down. Some of us may have the strength to "power through" at least for a while but ultimately, our body is in control. If we don't listen to those early warning signals, along comes that piece of 2x4 (2 by 4...ie a very big stick!) to whack us over the head and into reality, often insisting that we stop what we are doing. Depending on what it is we are trying to do, the sign will vary.

I teach a bit of yoga, just part time and when I'm low, I often lose my voice. Not very useful when trying to teach. I have to stop. I am currently learning the wonderful art of reflexology where I use my hands to help heal others. Right now for reasons I can't quite fully comprehend and that seem quite "unfair", whilst doing something I love and being in the midst of learning something truly amazing and inspiring...I develop a problem with my hand and my arm which means I cannot practice or continue with my case studies for now.

Once the frustration subsided (OK, it still comes and goes but mainly it has passed now) I realised I had no choice but to rest. After all, I've been without my right hand before. Memories of last summer come flooding back. It's not the same, but the impact is very similar. Food for thought. What is it about my right hand? What am I not hearing or seeing, or doing? Seriously...if you have any suggestions, answers on a postcard please!

So I have taken a week to rest. To be as still. To meditate, To do yoga. To dance. To read. In fact to realise all the things that I can do at the moment rather than focus on the things that I can't do. And to accept that. Fighting this cause will not help me...but I believe acceptance will.

Now is The Time!

I've been a fan of Jonathan Cainer for many years now. His accuracy often astounds me. So when I read this today, following my first post in a while yesterday, I had to smile. It seems NOW, IS a good time to start afresh!

www.jonathancainer.com

Jonathan's Thought For The Day

New Start In early January, I explained that New Year is rarely the right time for a new start. There are many other dates which might be more suitable for dropping old habits. If you've been following your forecast since then, you will have already seen me point out such times. More good opportunities are due in the next few weeks. I'm particularly excited about the rare transit of Venus on June 6. But while Mars is just picking up momentum after a long retrograde phase, right now is a fine time for anyone who seeks to summon more self-discipline!

Just Blog!

Like most things, the longer I leave it, the more difficult it becomes. Blogging included. I'm out of the habit. I've had stuff going on. Emotions. Thoughts. Feelings. Questions. Not to mention overseas travel, family visits and a new nephew. All part of life, the full spectrum. Writing and blogging got put to one side. Nothing really wrong with that in essence, apart from the fact that I really do love to write. It serves many purposes for me. Blogging is a kind of journaling but less personal, less intimate. At least that has always been my intention. And yet, I don't think it hurts a blog to be a bit personal. It makes it interesting. We feel we are getting more when we get emotions too. Or is that just me?

I haven't blogged in 2 months. All my potential blog entries felt too personal. Too private to share. Maybe there is just some stuff I haven't quite come to terms with yet and that is why if all feels too intimate, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure. What I did realise today though is that I just need to DO IT! Write. Blog. Journal. Whatever form it takes is not really important, but the process is.

So it may be April 16th....hardly a popular day for resolutions of any kind as far as I know, but today I re-commit to writing. To Just Doing It. To stop thinking too much about it, to stop analysing every word that I  may want to share. To be brave and to be free. It is no co-incidence that I decided to log on to my blog today to remind myself what my last post actually was...and I found myself reading the very words that have been playing over in my mind today.....

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

 

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

 

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

 

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

 

is too small for you.

 

~ David Whyte ~

What do You Love and what brings You alive?

Sweet Darkness

 

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

 

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

 

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

 

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

 

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

 

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

 

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

 

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

 

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

 

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

 

is too small for you.

 

~ David Whyte ~

 

 

(House of Belonging)

 

What's Normal Anyway?

This weekend I'm wrestling a little with the fact that Alan is in the UK without me. It feels a bit odd. Him being there, in the Homeland and me here. Especially when there is a Big family occasion being celebrated. I should be there, I'd like to be there.....but I'm not. For practical reasons. It could be worse though, after all, I will get a chance to see my immediate family and some of my friends next month when it's my turn to fly. I can't wait. Aunt status is due to kick in any day now and I am very excited about that. I'm sure it will be another pull in the direction of the UK, a bit of tug on the heart strings but I must learn to be a good Aunt from afar. That's just the way it is right  now. I've had to learn to be a daughter, a sister and a friend from afar...I'll just add Aunt to the pile.

Sometimes this life we lead feels quite frustrating. A little bit sad, to be away from family and old friends. I sometimes wonder why our life has to be so different...so "not normal". Why don't we live close to our family...have loads of friends on our doorstep... and be nearby for loved ones when they need us unexpectedly? The obvious answer is because we chose to move to Canada of course but that does not always feel like a reasonable explanation. Most days Ottawa feels like home these days. It's where we live, it's where our home is. Where our life is. That all sounds very normal...and so the rest falls into place around it...most days...until a special day or a sad day pops up then the distance is highlighted and the questions arise.

At times like these, I remind myself that I have many friends...and many of those friends are living a very similar life to us. Far away from their families...and old friends. Then it doesn't feel so odd any more. It's a life style. Most of the time it's wonderful to be an explorer...to challenge yourself  by living in a country that is not strictly speaking yours. What is Normal anyway?