This weekend I'm wrestling a little with the fact that Alan is in the UK without me. It feels a bit odd. Him being there, in the Homeland and me here. Especially when there is a Big family occasion being celebrated. I should be there, I'd like to be there.....but I'm not. For practical reasons. It could be worse though, after all, I will get a chance to see my immediate family and some of my friends next month when it's my turn to fly. I can't wait. Aunt status is due to kick in any day now and I am very excited about that. I'm sure it will be another pull in the direction of the UK, a bit of tug on the heart strings but I must learn to be a good Aunt from afar. That's just the way it is right now. I've had to learn to be a daughter, a sister and a friend from afar...I'll just add Aunt to the pile.
Sometimes this life we lead feels quite frustrating. A little bit sad, to be away from family and old friends. I sometimes wonder why our life has to be so different...so "not normal". Why don't we live close to our family...have loads of friends on our doorstep... and be nearby for loved ones when they need us unexpectedly? The obvious answer is because we chose to move to Canada of course but that does not always feel like a reasonable explanation. Most days Ottawa feels like home these days. It's where we live, it's where our home is. Where our life is. That all sounds very normal...and so the rest falls into place around it...most days...until a special day or a sad day pops up then the distance is highlighted and the questions arise.
At times like these, I remind myself that I have many friends...and many of those friends are living a very similar life to us. Far away from their families...and old friends. Then it doesn't feel so odd any more. It's a life style. Most of the time it's wonderful to be an explorer...to challenge yourself by living in a country that is not strictly speaking yours. What is Normal anyway?
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