It's becoming a bit of a habit; long gaps between blog entries. Yes, I have been busy, but not that busy. Life was full and eventful in Hong Kong and I found time to blog at least once a week, often a couple of times each week. So what's that all about? I've been giving it some thought and it appears to run much deeper than the availability of time. Of course it does.
I started this blog so that I could write about the transition from one lifestyle in one country, to another lifestyle in another country. Namely the transition from Hong Kong back to Canada. As can be seen from the number of blogs and more to the point, the content of the blog so far, this transition has been somewhat slow. I didn't exactly arrive back in Canada and make any great leaps and bounds forward or indeed in any direction. I'm OK with that, or rather I have been OK with that, but now, now that things have started to move in a definite direction and I am teaching again, I find myself somewhat restless and wanting things to continue to shift and grow. On the one hand I actually need time to get back into the flow of teaching yoga and to re-find my teaching style and to keep up on the study required to achieve that and to keep my teaching fresh and interesting, both to me and my students. So yes, this can take some time...reading and practicing and it is amazing to me how much of the day it can fill if you allow it to. That is all as it should be and I have no complaints. Things are going well.
So then, why so restless?
I have some thoughts, some ideas about what else I want to take on, but they are all new to me and require me to grow and explore parts of me I have not explored before. Sounds great in theory, at least I think so, but in reality, my reality, it's all rather daunting too. I am finding it hard to get started. To know where to start. Being so organised by nature, I find it hard to believe that I am struggling to find a plan of action, but I am and that is the reason I think for my restlessness. I have energy within me that wants to be utilised, I am just struggling to find a pathway, a clear direction for it to take.
I know I have friends who believe I have a perfect life...so much free time, hardly any commitments, a lot of freedom. It is indeed, a wonderful life. I do have a lot of freedom (at the moment) but that in itself can be extremely daunting. If you have never experienced it before, you may not believe me, but all I can tell you is that with so many choices and possible ways forward, it can become confusing and difficult to decide which route to take. I am finding that in order to make progress, I need to work within some constraints. To choose a direction and simply focus on that. I thought I used to be good at multi-tasking but it seems things have changed. It's a bit like successful meditation. Choose a point of focus, and stick with it. In order to succeed, I think I actually need a little less freedom and maybe even a deadline or two. Never thought I'd say that.
So...the transition continues. There is nothing to see right now, but things are simmering below the surface and hopefully before too long I will have a breakthrough!
Hi Caroline I have just read your blog and I was struck by this sentence.
ReplyDelete"I have energy within me that wants to be utilised, I am just struggling to find a pathway, a clear direction for it to take"
what a wonderful sentence, such clear words they describe the feeling exactly. It was a light bulb moment for me because I have felt that feeling so many times but never looked at it in that way! :) Thank you.
keep up the blogs! Phil xx
Thanks so much for sharing, Phil, that really made me smile...and thanks so much for the encouragement on the blog x
ReplyDelete