What is it about the Unknown that is so frightening, for so many of us? One of my standard responses to the question "Why?" in my 20s and 30s was "because... I need to know". I needed to be prepared. All the time. Thankfully, I seem to need to know less these days. Probably because I've discovered that you simply cannot know all the answers in life all of the time. And even if you (think) you do, then those things have a habit of changing anyway, so really, what is the point in having to know in advance? The conclusion I came to a while back is that those who don't need to know, do better. The secret is to master the art of simply being open to what comes about. Maybe even allowing yourself a little vulnerability. Vulnerable was always something I didn't want to be but lately it has found a new personal meaning, a less fear-filled meaning. For me, vulnerable now means to allow the emotions in. To feel. Rather than to shut things (or people) out just because we are afraid to deal with them. To embrace things is to open to them, and in so doing, we often discover that what initially felt overwhelming and unbearable is actually not such a big deal after all. In fact, in our vulnerability we often discover our hidden strengths and depths.
Moving forward into the Unknown still challenges me though and how I view my current situation seems to change on a daily basis. That is probably because situations close to home appear to change on an almost daily basis too. Even just the thought of more change can cause ripples which can cause my little proverbial boat to rock. I seem to be forever torn between trying to "settle" and restructure my life here and remaining ever flexible and adaptable, almost poised and ready to jump up and deal with the next big shift in life. Maybe too much moving around makes you behave like that...the more you move, the more you expect to move, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. I always did have an active imagination.
I'm listening to a great audio book at the moment by the poet, David Whyte. I'm not really a poetry fan, but I confess to having a bit of thing for David and his work. I love to listen to him, so audio is the way to go for me. I love to listen to him while in a restorative or yin yoga pose and to allow his words to wash over me. Oh the luxury of it all! I'm just over half way through now and today it was as if he was speaking to me. Just me. After all, I'm the only person who has ever felt confused about my next step in life, right? According to David, not so....what a comforting thought that is.
He spoke many words that resonated for me but one of the things that definitely hit home was the bit about how when we are searching for our life's purpose and working towards doing the thing(s) that our heart desires, so many people simply can't do it because it feels too overwhelming. The unknown is too big a gamble to take. What if we fail? What if we fail at being our true selves? What then? Who will we be? It's big stuff and I hear him. Instead, we do the stuff we know we can do, the stuff we know we can't really fail at or the stuff that is the same stuff that we have always done. The stuff on our daily To Do list. That way we don't draw attention to ourselves and we don't have to stand up and announce to the world that we are doing something Different, and whilst that something different might be a more honest expression of who we really are, it's not how the world sees us, or knows us and as such exposes us to possible ridicule and criticism which can add to the fear of the unknown...it can be a vicious circle.
So, right now I'm not able to sum this one up. I'd love to do so by saying "I Embrace The Great Unknown...I have no fear!" But that's not true. I am however working on it and given where life has taken me over the last 5 years, I am definitely making progress.
If you have experienced changing directions in life and have any words of wisdom to share, please do!
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