Nesting

There is currently nesting going on all around me...well, all around our house. This robin has made a nest in our front porch and now has 4 baby robins...wouldn't want to be any of the other 3 that are somewhere in that nest - it looks a little crowded for my liking!

We also have some House Martins nesting in a box which we have in the back garden. They are so beautiful to watch as they swoop in and out, so fast too.

So, I think I might be nesting. Maybe it's something to do with the time of year, it obviously is the nesting season, or has been for the last month or so, which fits perfectly with how I've been feeling lately although admittedly my nesting instinct has been in place since we returned from Hong Kong, so maybe there is something else going on.

It's easing a bit now I'm pleased to say and I'm feeling a bit more social and more interested in "getting out there" and exploring and re-engaging with people, and with life.

The last few months have been somewhat challenging though as I haven't really felt like doing much other than being at home and getting my house in order. Quite literally. We had some basement work done which dragged on longer than expected, in fact was still on-going in April when our expectation for completion was the end of February, so there was stuff everywhere. All the "stuff" that had been in the basement was living temporarily in our family room/kitchen as that was thankfully empty because we took the contents with us to HK.  Once the basement was finished, we suddenly had new, empty rooms which should have helped the process but at times only confused the issue for me, and there were so many decisions to make. Or so I thought. I was completely wrapped up in the process of finding homes for things and getting things in their (new) right place. Ordinarily I'm pretty organised so this was no big shock to me but as I look back now, it was a bit extreme. So why?

We are still in the decorating process as my Mission to Get The House Sorted continues, so of course there will be pockets of managed chaos about the place but now I do feel a little bit more relaxed about it all.  Like Mrs Robin looks a bit more relaxed now that her babies are growing and I suspect, soon to fly the nest. She has vacated the nest now and seems to reside under a bush a few feet away from them but she visits with food regularly while the little ones jostle for space as they fast outgrow their home.

I think it's all been part of the process, this nesting thing. Moving to HK and back in the space of 15 months, uprooting a good chunk of our things and lives and then travelling most months to other countries was at least to me, a rather bizarre way of living. Wonderful for a short time, but bizarre. A bit surreal. It's no wonder that an earthy Capricorn would feel the need to ground herself and re-root upon arrival back in her familiar Nest. To not want to travel or even go out more than she needed to...but to just be still. I knew this was what I wanted to do but I gave myself a bit of a hard time for it...telling myself I should be doing more...or at least doing something "constructive or productive"...and perhaps this is partly where the manic nesting manifested! It certainly was the only place I really wanted to invest my energy, or what energy I had!

We had a little taster of Spring not so long ago though and I feel like exploring again...and I have ...nothing terribly adventurous of course, but that's OK. The fact that I want to and I have is a start. Every morning I check to see if the chicks have flown....maybe when they do, I will feel able to spread my own wings a little too.....

Transition

It's a bit of a shame that it's taken me this long to get to a place where I'm ready to start this blog because there has been so much transition already. Some of it good, some of it perfectly natural and some of it plain messy and upsetting. I'm sure I'll remember the Big things but there have also been some subtle changes to Me which are less obvious on the surface and have only come to light over a period of time. These are the things I don't want to miss. If we are lucky we learn from all our experiences. If we can learn without being judgemental about what occurred or about our reaction to change, we take a step closer to knowing ourselves and making just a little bit more sense out of this crazy life.


It is almost 4 months to the day that we left Hong Kong to return to Canada. I guess that feels about right but to be honest, most days it feels like a distant dream. Did that really happen? Was that really me living that life? Yes it really was and I'm grateful that I lived it the way I did. A year in a country like Hong Kong can pass you by fast, really fast, if you're not careful. There were days when I wished it away a little and dreamed of being Home where everything was "normal". That feels very ironic now because I'm of the opinion that there is no normal. Just different ways of living and being. The longer we have been living a life, the more normal it may feel, but that does not make it normal by anyone elses standards.


My life right here, right now, doesn't feel very normal either and yet on the surface, I could be described as living a very normal life. House, car, husband...of course I'm missing a few "essential" ingredients, like children and pets and right now, a job...but all that aside, I'm perfectly "normal".


What am I getting at? Well....like I said in my profile, this blog is an adventure for me. An exploration. I feel a bit braver having already done this before. I'm writing this for Me, not for you, the reader. I'm anticipating results on some level. A personal level. First though, I need to do some work. Some excavation, some digging. Hopefully I'll find treasure but whatever I find, I'm pretty sure it will help guide me forward, in whichever direction that may be.