Extended Blog Absence

Wow. I knew it had been a while. I didn't realise how long! My last post was in January. That is almost a whole year. Anyone would think I don't want to blog. My inclination is to give myself a hard time over this. Why so long? When you know this is something you enjoy and benefit from? Good question, yes, but, really…how is beating myself up, helpful. It is not. What is helpful is to acknowledge and notice that I have felt the need to withdraw a little. That I did not feel like sharing intimate details with the world. A lot has been going on in 2013, there have been many lessons learned and new leaps taken. I have challenged myself in new ways. I continue to walk my path as authentically and honestly as I can, and still be human. There has been a trip home, to the UK to spend time with family and friends, there has been a training/retreat in California which deepened my meditation practice and more importantly, my dedication to that practice. There was another Nia training…I emerged as a blue belt after a week in Vermont. So yes, I finally got to do a little travel, although there is still one trip I long to take, and that is a holiday…a true holiday, with my wonderful husband. All our travel has been in different directions and to different locations. It is time we took a trip together again, for the sole purpose of having a break, relaxing together.

After the Roller Coaster.....

So last week was One of Those Weeks. The kind of week I haven't had in a very Long time! I had something new and exciting going on pretty much every day and it was like riding a roller coaster. The kind of roller coaster that you don't really want to get off. The dips were challenging in places, but fun. The highs were fantastic and lots of fun!

However, after it was all over, I found myself a bit weary. Physically and emotionally tired. In need of a rest. And yet, since most of the excitement began, I've had trouble sleeping. Perhaps it's the added mental stimulation. I thought the additional physical activity would bring deeper sleep but not so, not yet anyway.

Today I had some time to myself and thought the perfect thing to do would be nothing. Well, when I say nothing, I mean in this case, to meditate, to do some restorative yoga. To let my brain relax...let go of all the doing and the thinking. My meditation practice is coming along, it's been much more a regular part of my day for some time now and I've noticed lately my thoughts have been busy. Busier than usual. Lying there in Supta Baddha Konasana, I noticed my heart rate...not quite as relaxed as the rest of my body. No matter how slow and deep my breath, it could not quite calm my heart beat. My energy would not settle. Some days that's just how it is. I ended with a short seated meditation and reflected on my practice. At least the cramps in my stomach had eased. That was a result! My mind...not so easy to conquer!

Truth is, today I'm feeling really restless. I miss travelling. I miss the adventure of exploring new places. New countries. Meeting new people. I want to plan a trip! Since we returned from Hong Kong, 2 years ago (pretty much to the day actually), I really have not travelled much. I've been back to the UK once to see my family and have been to the east coast of the US...a short hop on a plane. I've done several trips to and from Quebec to spend beautiful, quality time at our wonderful cottage which I really would not change.... but all of a sudden I feel like I've got the travel bug back. Maybe it will be a brief visit, who knows. Maybe it's because life felt so new and exciting last week. Maybe it's because my husband is talking about travel and trips...mainly business trips, but travel all the same. 

I find it so interesting how constantly our thoughts and feelings shift and change. Last week I was focussed and grounded in Ottawa. Today I feel I could go anywhere....just give me a plane ticket.....

Reporting Transition in Progress!

Well, there is no doubt about it, transition is in progress. Whilst I'm not a great believer in the new calendar year being the perfect starting point for New Beginnings, I have to say that stepping into this particular January does seem to be like stepping into a whole new world! So much new stuff! This week alone, within the first 3 days, I find myself doing 3 brand new things. That's quite a high percentage of new, and it's not over yet, Friday brings another new experience, as does Sunday!

I'm consciously working on not feeling overwhelmed. I'm remembering to breathe. I'm remembering to meditate. I'm remembering to practice, to look after myself.  I'm really pleased with that response. My personality has a tendency to dip into the fondue of memories and remember how I used to feel in such situations and thereby bring those emotions back to life....and yet I seem to be resisting that right now...and it feels great! I am allowing myself to be Me, as I am Now. That's a big step forward. We all have the potential to grow and to change our habits...the ones which no longer serve us, but it's not necessarily an easy thing to do. It takes time, patience and self love. I'm not saying I'm totally "there" yet but I am heading in the right direction and for that I'm grateful because without this new "me" I would most definitely not be where I am today!

So, that's the deep bit, the inner exploration...for those of you out there who might appreciate a bit more perspective I'd love to share and shout from the rooftops!

Earlier this month I launched my website. If you'd like to check it out, you can find it at...
www.nowjustbe.com

This week I sold my first "Bliss Package" which was a fabulous experience.  I have also used the new but temporary space I am renting downtown for a reflexology treatment and today, I start teaching a new Hatha Flow Yoga class at a local yoga studio which I'm excited about not only because it's so close to home, but more to the point, I've found I really missed teaching this kind of class and after 4 months break, it feels good to be returning and I'm looking forward to sharing the joy of yoga with my immediate community.

I saw a quote earlier, not sure where it came from but it resonated with me, so I shall share with you.

"Allow Yourself to Soar to New Heights."

My New Year Intention

OK, here I go again. I'm going to marvel at how long it's been since I last posted and give myself a hard time about it. That's what I seem to be doing every couple of months anyway. Seriously though, given how much I enjoy the blogging process, I have no idea why I don't do it more. I've even had plenty of material for it over the last few months. So much has been new and exciting...life has truly been in transition for me, and not a peep out of me. Why? Just because I'm busy? I'm not sure.  Is it because I'm resisting doing something I feel called to do? Possibly. Interesting, I'll talk more about that later.

For now though, on the 3rd day of 2013, I hereby set my intention somewhat publicly...not terribly publicly, as this is a pretty small-time blog when all is said and done...ha...there's that inner critic rising up yet again... but yes, I fully intend to blog more often this year. To make the time for it. Schedule time for it as I do with all the other parts of my life. I'm a believer in scheduling time...I love scheduling appointments...it helps me feel organised and whilst over the last few years my appointment book has hardly been busy, it is still often challenging to find the time for all the other things I want to do. So I schedule them in my calendar and it's the way I've worked since I left my secretarial/personal assistant life. It works for many things...now it needs to work for writing. For Blogging. Whatever form the pen wishes to take on any given day. Just write.

I'll be back.

Last Day of Detox

Well I did it. Today is my final day on the Wild Rose Detox programme. In summary, the first few days left me with zero energy and all I wanted to do was sleep. The remainder of the first week was challenging in places as I regained my energy and my belly adjusted to the high quantities of vegetables and fruit and the herbs. This week however, has been much easier. I have actually quite enjoyed eating so healthily, it feels good, I feel good! My energy levels are back and are better than they were before I began the detox. I haven't had the afternoon slump and it has been easier to get out of bed in the morning. I have been more focused on projects. More things have got done this week. I have procrastinated a little less.

The next challenge is to maintain and sustain a healthy balance. I have some new healthy recipes now that DO taste good and are filling AND my husband also likes them! He did not do the detox but he willingly ate some the evening meals I served up and enjoyed them...he didn't tolerate them, he enjoyed them :-)

So, I'm supposed to gradually re-introduce those "forbidden" foods back into my life...slowly...one at a time. I actually don't think it will be as difficult as I thought it might be because I feel good on this...I don't want it to end!  On the other hand, I am off to Montreal this weekend....so we'll see....

Detox Day 7 out of 12

I'm officially past the half way mark. Now at the end of Day 7.  The last 3 days have been much easier and felt more natural. My energy levels have increased too, thankfully. I think my body is over the initial shock now and has almost settled in to the way things are at the moment. I still find it hard to believe I have not craved coffee! There have been moments when I have thought it might be nice...but more to fill me up than for the taste of coffee. And out of habit. Habit is so strong! And there was me thinking I "needed" it, when I really don't. Fascinating. That is not to say I won't be drinking coffee in the future, because I will, but not purely out of habit, if I can help it.

I did find myself really fancying a glass of wine this evening, I must confess. And yesterday I did have quite a chocolate craving, but I told myself it's only another week to go. I will appreciate it all the more when the craving comes on a day when chocolate is back on the menu...it will be sooo delicious! 

I've lost a few pounds too. That's always a bonus, especially after 3 sets of visitors in 3 months. I've had a few more treats than usual recently, it has to be said. It feels good to feel good in my jeans again.

So, the countdown is on. I'm on the downhill slope...5 days of careful diet/meal planning remain and overall, I'm feeling good on it.

Life in Detox

So, Day 2 & 3 had their challenges but they weren't the challenges I was expecting. I had expected to crave and long for coffee and tea, but so far, that has not happened. I have been hungry, which needn't really happen on this detox because I can eat as much as I want, of certain foods that is, it just so happens there is only so much of those certain foods that I actually want to eat. I do need to get more creative, but I also think it has something to do with the fact that I am eating the same size portions that I normally eat, just cleaner food, which it seems does not fill me up for quite as long...and I cannot snack on sweet stuff. I don't eat a lot of sweet stuff...but I do definitely eat sweet stuff. A little square of chocolate here and there goes a long way I find to satisfy a need. This week and next however...no chocolate for me. That is what I am missing most so far. I guess that is not exactly a huge revelation though!

Energy has been low and challenged also. I found myself dancing level 1 in Nia class on Tuesday evening....I think I actually checked the clock during class...that never happens! And yesterday, was the worst day so far. I crashed in the afternoon. I actually fell asleep in a yoga pose. A Backbend of all poses...I was trying to restore some energy in a yin practice but I was simply too tired, so my next pose was restorative...and the next pose after that was sleep-asana, in the middle of the afternoon. Most unusual for me. I wondered if I was sickening for something...but today I awoke feeling OK. Not exactly bouncing out of bed yet but it was an improvement and today has been easier. I've been able to focus on writing and working on some things I have simply not felt up to since I started this thing. I am looking forward to tomorrow...hopefully Day 5 will bring a little more energy into my life....