System re-boot

There comes a time for all of us, even to us relatively healthy, keen yoga types, when it all goes a bit pear shaped. Without any decent warning, we get ill. Our preventative methods fail us and we find ourselves unable to do anything other than surrender to it. At least that is the way I see it. I'm lucky in that I rarely get sick and if I feel something creeping up on me, I am usually able to do some stuff that quickly diverts it and prevents it from getting a grip on my system. I like that about my relationship with my body, I feel we know one another fairly well.

However, this week it's a different story. I failed in my ability to divert the course of this cold bug and it has me in it's grips. Admittedly, it really is not completely disabling me, I don't feel terribly ill with it all but it is enough to stop me from teaching as it's affecting my voice and my ability to speak. That is never good for a yoga teacher, or any kind of teacher and a whole host of other professions I'd imagine, I am hardly alone here, I appreciate that!

There is always this slight stigma attached to being sick, as a yoga teacher though, or so I feel. I can't say I judge others in the profession harshly when they fall ill, because we are all human, of course we are, but it has been said to me on more than one occasion...how is it that I am ill when I do yoga...isn't it supposed to keep you healthy? Yeah Yeah. And more to the point, yes it is and yes it does. I have no doubt in my mind that if I did not have a regular yoga practice, this thing would have me in a much tighter grip, more like a vice, probably in bed for days, not the one day that I succumbed to, knowing that to surrender my Sunday would be worth it in the healing process. When our physical body displays signs that we are sick, I believe it's important that we listen and respond. There are so many pressures for the majority of us these days, to carry on, be strong, be some sort of Superwoman....or Superman of course! I used feel I had to be that person, that I'd appear weak if I took a day off or I'd upset someone if I let them down by calling in sick. I'm still human so I can't say I never feel those pressures, and of course those close to me know that I'm also lucky enough not to have to keep up for other reasons, but these days I know that to surrender to the inevitable is not a bad thing. It's more about honouring our body and our mind, respecting the need for rest and healing. We tend to get ill when we have an element of stress in our lives, whether we realise it at the time or not, and I believe, the antidote is to de-stress, let it out, re-boot the system and then get back to it, whatever It is.

I've been de-stressing and re-booting for a few days now and quite frankly I'm getting bored. I want to be well, I want to be able to speak without coughing, I want my real voice back. So, after a bit of talking with myself and asking my friends for some tips, I'm stepping up the natural remedies in the hope that I can kick this in the next day or so and be fighting fit for my next class.

I AM going to do it.

Why so restless?

It's becoming a bit of a habit; long gaps between blog entries. Yes, I have been busy, but not that busy. Life was full and eventful in Hong Kong and I found time to blog at least once a week, often a couple of times each week. So what's that all about? I've been giving it some thought and it appears to run much deeper than the availability of time. Of course it does.

I started this blog so that I could write about the transition from one lifestyle in one country, to another lifestyle in another country. Namely the transition from Hong Kong back to Canada. As can be seen from the number of blogs and more to the point, the content of the blog so far, this transition has been somewhat slow. I didn't exactly arrive back in Canada and make any great leaps and bounds forward or indeed in any direction. I'm OK with that, or rather I have been OK with that, but now, now that things have started to move in a definite direction and I am teaching again, I find myself somewhat restless and wanting things to continue to shift and grow. On the one hand I actually need time to get back into the flow of teaching yoga and to re-find my teaching style and to keep up on the study required to achieve that and to keep my teaching fresh and interesting, both to me and my students. So yes, this can take some time...reading and practicing and it is amazing to me how much of the day it can fill if you allow it to. That is all as it should be and I have no complaints. Things are going well.

So then, why so restless?

I have some thoughts, some ideas about what else I want to take on, but they are all new to me and require me to grow and explore parts of me I have not explored before. Sounds great in theory, at least I think so, but in reality, my reality, it's all rather daunting too. I am finding it hard to get started. To know where to start. Being so organised by nature, I find it hard to believe that I am struggling to find a plan of action, but I am and that is the reason I think for my restlessness. I have energy within me that wants to be utilised, I am just struggling to find a pathway, a clear direction for it to take.

I know I have friends who believe I have a perfect life...so much free time, hardly any commitments, a lot of freedom. It is indeed, a wonderful life. I do have a lot of freedom (at the moment) but that in itself can be extremely daunting. If you have never experienced it before, you may not believe me, but all I can tell you is that with so many choices and possible ways forward, it can become confusing and difficult to decide which route to take. I am finding that in order to make progress, I need to work within some constraints. To choose a direction and simply focus on that. I thought I used to be good at multi-tasking but it seems things have changed. It's a bit like successful meditation. Choose a point of focus, and stick with it.  In order to succeed, I think I actually need a little less freedom and maybe even a deadline or two. Never thought I'd say that.

So...the transition continues. There is nothing to see right now, but things are simmering below the surface and hopefully before too long I will have a breakthrough!